Mom would have sent me to a shrink, and the gang would have laughed me right out of town if they had known ... but for whatever reason, watching those ants marching up and down their nearly symmetrical tunnels and attending their blue-and-white spotted rock ... it's impossible to describe the feeling of utter calm and peacefulness I felt when I was near them.I talked to them about my run-in with Mike Miller, and my apprehension about what might happen the next time. I also talked to them about my mixed feelings for the upcoming new school experience. I was still thrilled to be starting high school, but seeing the way the social caste system seemed to work left me feeling uneasy.I talked to the ants a lot about how much I missed my dad. By then he had been overseas for close to nine months, and he wasn't due home until late August. Mom and I had been doing well enough without him but it just wasn't the same without him around.Mostly I talked to the ants about Charlotte. The photo the. She said it felt fresh and loved the way it felt as it fell on her face and on her body. My mom's room was on the second floor of the house and it was the biggest room in the house. I stepped outside and hugged my mom from behind. She leaned back and said, "Hey there. I hope you slept well. John, we need to talk."That didn't sound too well. I was hoping that she didn't regret what had happened between us because I didn't want to give up the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I knew that she often thought about her life and her choices whenever it rained. The reason why I was worried was because I thought my mom might have been thinking of the recent events while under the rain."What's up mom? Please don't tell me you regret what happened." My mom faced me and said, "I don't know. I loved it but I feel guilty. We shouldn't be doing this because you're my son and because of your father. I love you and you have stirred something inside me but I think we shouldn't do it.
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